February 22 6:27

is it sad that you're my only fucking friend? laura i wish i didnt lose you because i jumped away from the closest person ive ever had to someone i cant tell nearly everything. CLEARLY SHE FUCKING LIKES HIM. thats why shed rub it in my face that 'weee have an inside joke!' and why she wont like kevin. Funny how when i go to her house and flirt with her brothers friend she gets mad at me..then proceeds to talk and flirt with him, wtf as if you werent gonna win already without taking his attention away from me? But when she coomes to my house and flirts with my sisters friend i help her, i talk her up to him and him to her. interesting how things work eh? no i would never even think of flirting with kevin, dana seemed to like him at the party so ill do my best to help her get w/him. funny cuz its the same age difference on both ends. identical situations but somehow she ends up with an older guy liking her and i end up with no self esteem getting stabbbed in the back by my 'best friend'. bull shit youre a natural flirt!!!! and if youre reading this, its me venting ok? im aloud to do that. its much better than shit talking to you to serena and everyone else which im sure you do cuz she fucking tells me when you do!. i wish there was no drama. i need to learn how to pick friends better. i thought we were gonna be best friends.....until you went and did this. nothing wrong? bull shit. it hurts that im back at this place, insecure no self esteem and no friends to talk about it to. it hurts it really hurts. no best friend. no best friend except this stupid computer program. and it wont give me advice n help me. i guess the closest thing i have to a best friend is lizette now cuz i can tell her everything n she tells me what to do. but shes not my best friend, fuckiing dana is. no i dont mean fucking dana i mean dana. i hate drama i hate fighting. but im not a dumbass and im fighting over nothing ? probably but im a jealous god damn mess. i knew from the start that me n chris was an impossibility it just hurts to have it confirmed by his 'bff' my best fucking friend. whipty fucking doo. 'does he im u or do u im him' ? she says..so that means he ims her damn, i am the annoying one he doesnt wanna talk to . i hate my self i hate myself for everything im not and not good enough for. i hate my life. i hate everything about everything. stupid teenage anxt? not really.